Anonymous asked: Dear someone of the past: I don't know if I regret you necessarily, but I just wish we had that connection. I wish we could look at each other and know each other's thoughts. I don't know I always felt inadequate, and I know that's not how a person should feel. But I did, with you. I think I only felt a physical connection to you, I lost things that I held sacred to you, and you threw it all away. I wish you could get that through your thick damn skull. You acted like it wasn't even a big deal.
Anonymous asked: How did you get to be the person you are? I want to renovate myself but I have no idea where to start. There's so much I want to fix and I know baby steps is the way to go, but do you have any suggestions?
That’s so wonderful, I’m happy you want to renovate yourself and yes baby steps are the way. I suggest you sit down and assess what is truly important to you and find aspects of your life you can cut out or spend less time on because your reasons for doing them aren’t as necessary as other things you should focus on like school, health, important people, and hobbies that make you happy. I’ve noticed many of us (especially college students) join clubs or do things that don’t benefit them enough for the time and effort to be worth it. It will be hard cutting out parts of your life that may be wasting your time, but it is worth it.
I am constantly changing, in my mind and through my decisions (I’m very indecisive) but I had to really assess what I needed to do or not do to be more productive and, more importantly, more happy. Lately when I see people I used to spend every waking moment with and they ask be where I’ve been or what in the hell I’ve been doing, the truth is that I’ve been reading. I picked up Wicked and I read it between classes, between readings for my classes, before I have to go anywhere. I spend a lot of time with myself, making sure I get sleep, making food that is better for me, learning how to be alone in the sense that I don’t constantly need to be entertained and it’s very difficult because (as a person with no motivation) I have to now force myself into productivity and be motivated. I have projects I want to do and classes I want to do well in and it takes a lot for me since I’m usually very lazy, very unmotivated, and a tendency towards stubbornness.
Personally, I live a very herbal life so a part of renovating myself was to go back to my natural hair color, do hair treatments, keeping drinking herbal teas every day, take herbal supplements, meditation, and use essential oils like peppermint for headaches. That’s my personal preference in lifestyle, yours may be a world different.
To continue - Cut out parts of your life that may be taking up too much time and are not benefiting you the way they should. Do not try to become some elusive someone, or a type of person, no.
1. Choose things, material or people or food or hobbies, that truly make you happy and won’t negatively effect you.
2. Collect them, bring them into your every day life, Make time for them. Lunch dates, wine while reading, more basketball, more ice cream, less carbs, more carbs -whatever it is. Make time for them,
3. Be productive, maybe 3 hours of solid work/studying a day if you’re someone who waits the entire week to do something. But be productive, whether it’s keeping busy 24/7 or actually finally getting yourself to work towards your life or future or grades - it feels good.
That was a lot of rambling about how one should renovate themselves, it’s a slow process if you weren’t born rambunctious and productive like some people - but take what you can from it and essentially
Be happy and Be productive.
The responses to letters to lost ones seemed to be something more needed that I had initially thought. I’ll reply to those who asked me questions, you’ll see the few anonymous ones, and I’ll post a few of the vague ones.
If anyone has anything to say to someone who may not be in your life anymore - and you need somewhere to put it - you can say it to me.
Date with @heyyshawtyy #tacos #lordoflight (at Taco Mesa)
New markers woooo 🎨
Look at this sexy unicorn of a woman (at Old Towne Orange)